Hi! New here.

[Rabbit]

Hi! My name is Millie. Please call me Rabbit and I’m an addict. I have 13 days clean and went to my first f2f meeting yesterday. Got my white tag.

Question: Is this really what clean feels like? Will it always feel like someone has taken all my emotions, put them in a blender, and dumped them all over me? My emotions are all over the place. Happy-sad-angry-frustrated-hopeful…. all within minutes of each other. Or am I just insane? My poor man. He never knows who he’s talking to. Although he does say he likes this nuts person better than the user. oh well. Tell me if this is normal, please.

[Gemm]

   Rabbit

What you are feeling right now is perfectly normal for our early days in recovery when we first get off the drugs. Congratulations on your 13 days clean and for finding and going to a meeting. Keep going to the meetings, find yourself a sponsor and start working the steps with her and you will find your emotions settling down as you learn more and more about yourself and find self-acceptance. Yes, your emotions will settle down. I can’t say exactly when as we are all different; all I can say is that they will. For a while though, they may seem to get a bit worse, and that too is totally normal. Just hang on and don’t use, no matter what and you will get through it. We here and those at your NA meetings can and will be here to help you through it as long as you let us know what is going on so we know how to help you. If you don’t say anything then we won’t know you need help. Feeling as though we are insane is also perfectly normal for us when we 1st get clean. This too will go away at some point in the near future as your body gets totally rid of the influence of the drugs and you can really begin to heal yourself of the damage done to yourself, your emotions, your spirit throughout your using. Keep coming back and it will get better. 

  

Gemm aka Ethel

[Lon]

Hi Millie,
Pleased to meet you. We spoke in chat the other day, I am glad you joined our message board too.

In short, no it is not always going to be like it is right now. Being newly clean is damned hard; we just don’t know what we are going to feel next, or why. The steps with a sponsor will help you to sort it all out….  ‘We didn’t become addicts overnight, we don’t recover in one day…’

Just give yourself some time for the miracle of recovery to happen. Put in the stepwork, give it all you can. Life can and does get better if we do our part.

The "Basic Text" page 13
Recovery is what happens in our meetings. Our lives are at stake. We found
that by putting recovery first, the program works. We faced three disturbing
realizations:
1. We are powerless over addiction and our lives are unmanageable;
2. Although we are not responsible for our disease, we are responsible for our
recovery;
3. We can no longer blame people, places and things for our addiction. We must
face our problems and our feelings.

Basic Text "Narcotics Anonymous" online download.

[Rabbit]

How do you find a sponsor? How long do you wait? I think I should get to know folks for a while to see who I’d want as a sponsor, but I don’t know. What can you tell me about the process. PS. There are only a few women in my home group.

[Gemm]

Hey Rabbit

NA has a pamphlet on Sponsorship that helps us understand the process of getting and using one. I will post the link to read it at the bottom.

 Generally we look at our local meetings, get phone numbers and start using them so we can start making some connections. It may seem difficult to do but I had to remember that I wasn’t afraid to ask around to find a dopeman when I needed one so I can’t allow my fears once I get clean to keep me from doing those things I need to do for my recovery. You can also speak to the secretary at your local meeting(s) and see if they help newcomers find a sponsor. Some meetings do that, or at least may have a phone list of people of the same sex available for us to use to start calling people.

 We here can also be part of your support system but we really need to find a sponsor that we can meet and speak with face-to-face and on the phone regularly. I hope this link helps and if you do have other questions please ask and we can attempt to help you answer them.


 http://www.na.org/admin/include/spaw2/uploads/pdf/litfiles/us_english/IP/EN3111.pdf

  

[Rabbit]

Thanks! That pdf was very helpful.