New member frustrated venting.

[Atm142]

My fiancee recently lost her job for doing the right thing and it’s unbelievable how powerless you can feel and how easy it is for some guy you’ve never even met to suddenly throw your entire life into confusion and take food off of your table.


A shoplifter darted from her store and a customer trying to be a good Samaritan went after him. There’s a strict no leaving the store policy (apparently) because my fiancee took two steps out the front door while on the phone with 911 to check on the customer.


She wanted the customer to come back in and not risk her safety over a pair of shoes and those two steps is all it took to get an employee of six years with zero write-ups who’s never been fired before terminated.


All she was doing was making sure the customer was safe and it cost her, her job. Doing the right thing and being gainfully employed should not be mutually exclusive.


She’s a saint and my rock and it is terrible there is so little I can do for her.

[Atm142]

Still trying to get a decent job that can keep us afloat. Thankfully we had been saving up money to take our daughter to the zoo on our first ever vacation in a decade. Now that money’s keeping us afloat.


We have had a couple of interviews but I recently helped my mom move and badly irritated my hernia. If I pick my daughter up wrong it feels like my liver explodes. It does seem to have gotten better in the last few days so maybe I can tough it out a bit longer.

[Atm142]

Brother had MRSA. That was crazy, he had a huge chunk of his bicep cut off and had to pack it with gauze. He seems to be doing better though.


Excited for the new basketball season.


Going back to school soon but I realize I don’t even have the money for books. It seems like success in this life is like a rollercoaster ride but outfront every sign reads "must be this wealthy to ride."


Trying to be less negative but it’s hard when you see your family, neighbors – everyone you’ve ever cared about being ground to dust by the same broken system. Then you realize it’s going to be your fate too. Then for an extra dose of existential dread realize it’s probably the same fate for your child too.


That’s when I feel the urge to numb my feelings. So I can just have one good day before going back to the regularly scheduled program of crap. Still haven’t though, coming up on eleven years in January.


Just exhausted.

[Atm142]

Another month. It’s the small things. A smile, a hug, a call. Every little bit makes things a bit easier.

[Atm142]

Trying to stop feeling guilty for everything. It’s hard. Having trouble breathing when I’m laying down. Cut back on smoking will hopefully quit soon but honestly it’s been how I manage my anxiety about feeling guilty for so long it’s going to be rough.


For instance I don’t drive because if I hurt someone while driving I wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt. On the flip side I feel guilty for having to ask people for rides. It’s kind of created this endless cycle I’m trying to break.