Hey Amy – sorry this is so belated but I’ve been having some major computer issues the last few weeks plus family stuff going on. One thing I have found over the years is that this type of thing is a recurring presence in my recovery though each time I deal with it and make it through the next one isn’t as hard to get through. Procrastination on my steps is one of the triggers for this feeling of isolation and discontent and procrastination is a huge thing for many addicts to deal with. A couple things that have worked for me is more prayer, talking to other addicts about how they deal with this in their recovery (at least the ones who will be honest about going through it), writing about how I am feeling not just on my steps, and also a bit of prayer for the honesty I need to work whatever step it is I am currently trying to work through. Even though I have been through several cycles of steps myself I still find new issues to deal with and also a tendency to procrastinate on them.
Keep going and it will eventually work itself out. If you are finding a lot of depression or other outside issues of some sort as many of us have found, a professional may also be able to give you some help. I know for myself I doubt if I would have made it without the professional I found who worked with me on my childhood issues. Even now though those issues can still come back to haunt me from time to time and I find the need to revisit some of those as well as others that come up from other parts of my life. Recovery is an ongoing journey, not a destination that we reach. Keep the journey forever going and you will make it through and be all the better for it on the other side of this.
Gemm
